(II)
And then there’s Celia (though I call her Blue), my other best friend who is also my girlfriend. Romantic novels and drama shows are written about stories like ours.
I met her at a birthday party, one cold winter (she knew Elena already) of 2018 and I was instantly and dangerously attracted to her: leaning her tall frame against a wall, analyzing every detail in the room with the most gorgeous, ocean-grey eyes I have ever seen. She was uncomfortable, quiet, I could tell she wasn’t one for parties. She intrigued me and I wanted to know her, uncover the mystery she posed.
The first time our gazes crossed, I froze to my place, unsure of how to regain normality, how to concentrate on the song that was playing in the background. I had the inexplicable feeling we would get along well so I swallowed my shyness and walked over, trying to think of something worth saying.
We ended up following each other on instagram.
Months (of almost daily conversation) passed and I started to like her. I was hopeful for a while until she broke my heart (involuntarily), when I found out she was going out with some other girl (I only told her about this later). Back then, I was devastated. As if I’d swallowed a broken pane of thick glass, its shards sticking, painfully, in my throat. Hurting me, making me unable to concentrate.
I tried to get over her (I really did), to regain control of myself. This feeling was new to me. What do people call this and what can I do to get rid of it? I found out these answers on my own. She is the love of my young and inexperienced existence, even when we couldn’t be together.
In short, I “moved on” with other people but some part of me was still waiting for her. I was lucky because apparently, she had fallen for me too and today, I’m living the relationship of my life. It scares me to trust someone with so much, to care about them so fiercely. I’ve discovered the meaning of compromise. It’s changed me, I’m ecstatic! I catch myself making plans for a future for us to have, together.